Hoffarth: Does Kobe call ‘bank’ as he cashes out?

first_img Newsroom GuidelinesNews TipsContact UsReport an Error • When Manny Pacquiao cashes out Saturday night, will he finally walk away from the sport like a real man this time?• Those reporting on this year’s Dodgers team say manager “Doc” Roberts, based on his years of experience as a leadoff man, finds it important to put someone at the top of the lineup that “sets the right a tone” – so far, like Chase Utley, and presumably to be continued with Howie Kendrick. Is that in reference to how “Dopey” Donnie Baseball had a managerial disconnect and put too much of a No. 3-hitter’s mentality into his lineups, oblivious to how watching Joc Pederson strike out time and time again in the leadoff spot set the opposite tone for a lineup that enjoyed swinging from the heels as some kind of philosophy instilled from then-hitting coach Mark McGwire?• How un-American is it that no team from Canada will qualify for this spring’s Stanley Cup playoffs? Yet, Team USA still struggles to beat Team Canada in any kind of international hockey festival?• The city of Adelanto, already home to a federal prison and medical marijuana groves, is said to be trying to kick the High Desert Mavericks baseball team out of town because it’s too much a drain on the economy.Sound like something Merle Haggard would have written a song about? It just doesn’t pay any more to be a Maverick cruising Highway 395. They’ve already got Cal League teams doing just fine in Lancaster, Rancho Cucamonga, San Bernardino and Lake Elsinore. Why couldn’t the Dodgers, Angels or Padres plant a minor-league team back in Hollywood, or at least the San Fernando Valley, Long Beach or West Covina?• We’ve been told the Rams don’t plan to change their uniforms until the 2019 season — that’ll be something they can coordinate with the opening of their new Inglewood Stadium. Sounds OK, but if you go that long without changing, won’t it get a little stinky in that Coliseum locker room?• Immediately after the NCAA basketball tournament ended, Vegas odds makers projected Duke as a 9/2 favorite to win the 2017 championship (according to bovoda.lv). UCLA (66/1) and USC (150/1) apparently have no chance. Even if they keep their coaches?• Our daily fantasy: Draft Kings, Fan Duel, Fantasy Aces, DraftFury, DraftDay, Star Fantasy, Fantasy Feud, GoDraft, DraftPot, Draft Ops, FantasyLabs, AlphaDraft, RotoQL, Victiv and Draftster merge to become ClusterDraft, which then opens a casino in Vegas and hires Pete Rose as the spokesman/greeter/sole client. What’s the entry fee to make that come true?• If healthy, Tiger Woods vows he’ll compete in the PGA Tour’s Riviera stop starting in 2017, now that his own TW foundation is the main beneficiary of charity funds raised. If that’s all it took to guarantee his entry, why wasn’t this arrangement hatched years ago when it mattered?• Derek Fisher is supposedly shopping around his five-bedroom, seven-bath home in Hidden Hills for about $7 million. You think he’s got a friend nearby in town he can stay with while his agents show the place off?• Kevin James is supposed to the main choice for role in an upcoming movie called “44” – a drama based on the life of Joey Williams, who in 2003 played football at an NAIA school in Tennessee alongside his 21-year-old son. How about a working title: “Paul Blart, Chop Block”?• “Wearable technology” is the latest thing coming to Major League Baseball — it approved this week some kind of sleeve that measures stress on an elbow and another that monitors heart and breathing rate. One more thing that’s OK is a bat sensor for onfield workouts that “provides the potential for early detection of habits that could lead to injuries.” And they still won’t give the OK for a manager to take a cellphone to the mound to call down to the bullpen to see if a reliever is finally ready to come into a game?• Paddleboarding isn’t an NCAA sports yet? There’s a promo airing for the new Andrew Dice Clay horribly scented TV series, the lapsed comedian and his dim-witted sidekick in a Las Vegas restaurant digging into a meal.“How much do you think Kobe Bryant gets for every one of these Kobe steaks?” the lesser of two evils chirps to the Dice Man.So now you’ve got a beef with how Kobe is doing his business?If Bryant milked his career for $680 million in salary and endorsements the past 20 years, a record for a player in a team sport, would that even cover the cost of every seat at Staples Center for his Wednesday career finale?center_img StubHub.com had more than 2,400 tickets posted as of Friday afternoon. Stuff up on the 300 level is in the $700-$1,100 range. One courtside spot is $25,000.Someone with two seats on the Loge Center 101 level strategically priced theirs at $24,008 each. Get it?None of that, however, can match the $38,024 that’s sought for an 18-karat-gold-lined black New Era lambskin and snakeskin cap that’s for sale by AEG at the Team LA Store. Plenty more diamond-studded, crystal-forged, platinum-braided, glass-blown, fire-retardant, super-glued, limited-edition, Shaq-approved knick-knacks are available as pseudo-collectibles for those who need to supplement their hand-painted thimble displays at home.Of course, Kobe Inc., gets a cut of these sales. Unless he swallows your wallet whole before you remember where you left it.Anyone else hear him call “bank” before he cashed out?last_img

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